Living a healthy Christian life, empowered by the Hero Within, means developing discernment about relationships and connections we form. It’s easy to assume that every connection we make within our church communities or ministries is the beginning of a lifelong friendship. However, not everyone you make a connection with is forever. There are also some connections that aren’t healthy and need to be broken. The level of discernment we need comes from trusting in God and listening to the Hero Within. I want to help you get a better understanding of the types of friendships and connections you will encounter - Soulmates, Teammates and Cellmates - and help you in developing that discernment.
Soulmates
A Soulmate is defined as a person suited to another. The Hero Within brings people together for a common purpose. In the Bible, Adam needed Eve. Moses needed Joshua. Ruth needed Naomi. Elijah needed Elisha. King David needed Jonathan. Mary, the mother of Jesus, needed Elizabeth. Paul needed Barnabas. We all need Jesus. It’s a rare thing to have many soulmates. In fact, if you live to eighty years or beyond and can count, even just on one hand, your soulmates then you are a blessed individual.
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone? Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.” -Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
When there is a spiritual force that draws us, and binds us, to people who are a part of our destiny we call it the “witness of the Spirit.” Your Hero will lead you to people on your journey who are part of God’s plan for your life. Without these close friends our lives are greatly diminished. They make our life, and our callings, easier by sharing in the labor along with us.
This is the same reason why Jesus sent out His disciples two-by-two, because they would be able to encourage each other and hold each other accountable. Two people can accomplish more together than they could separately. Friendship on this level not only helps us find our destiny, it takes us higher and moves us into it.
Teammates
A teammate is crucial to your success, but teammates are only in your life for a season. It could be a long season or a short season, but all seasons come to an end. When the season is over, so goes the relationship. You will be frustrated if you expect more out of a teammate than they are able to give. Teammates aren’t bad, but they are not soulmates. Sports teams are a great way to illustrate this as it is rare for anyone to remain on the same team with the same people for the entirety of their career. High school and college social groups illustrate this as well. Rarely do any of us keep the exact same group of closest friends all the way through school and into adulthood onward to retirement. There is a natural progression of life that moves people into different paths.
When we allow ourselves to be codependent, this natural progression can be painful and cause confusion. However, when we choose to take a healthy viewpoint on relationships, we can learn to celebrate the seasons for what they are and take our different paths with hope for the future. Celebrate the season, let it go and then embrace the next one.
Cellmates
Now let’s talk about cellmates. I saw a quote on Facebook the other day that said something like, “A good friend will come and bail you out of jail, but a true friend will be sitting right beside you saying, ‘Man, that was fun.’” It is a sad day we live in when that is the modern definition of a good friend. Friendships are supposed to pick you up when you fall, not stay down with you.
Some of you have never experienced victory in this life because cellmates surround you. A cellmate is the opposite of a teammate and a soulmate. A cellmate is someone who shares a prison cell with you. They would rather you stay in prison, in bondage with them, than gain your freedom. These types of people don’t want to see you break free to live a heroic life- one that is extraordinary, blessed and favored.
Your prison cell may be filled with sin, defeat, disappointment, addiction, lack of education, financial debt, or just failure in general. You know the old saying “Misery loves company.” It’s true, misery always wants a companion! A cellmate is a codependent person who is your friend while you are in prison with them. However, when you start trying to gain your freedom and move forward, they resent you for it. You need friends who will help you recover from failure, who will pick you up and will fight with you in the war.